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Remember the Guy Who Punched Snooki? Well His Life is Ruined, so He Joined the Army

Remember way back in 2009 when Jersey Shore first aired? Remember the Punch Heard ‘Round the Shore? Well here’s a reminder.

Well it seems that while Snooki profited heavily from getting punched the fuck out (she raised her appearance rates from $2K to $10K once the incident became public), Dan Ferro punched his way into a lifetime of military service.

Although Ferro only paid a $500 fine and had 6 months of probation, his life was utterly destroyed. He was fired from his job as a P.E. Teacher , his family was exiled from their Long Island community, and Ferro feels he may never find true love, since he is now googlable (join the club).

After realizing he was out of options, Brad decided to join the military, training, his dad said, as a Cavalry Scout — part of the specialized reconnaissance unit that is among the first behind enemy lines. His conviction on a misdemeanor wasn’t a hindrance. Since 2007, the US military has been forced to recruit even hard-core felons to replenish dwindling combat troops. Ferro left for basic training in Fort Knox, Ky., last month. His father hopes that no one on base recognizes his son. “He lost his career and his pride and everything else,” his dad said. “But he’s getting it back. You can’t keep a good man down for too long.”

Punching chicks isn’t cool, but in all seriousness, this man needs to have a statue of him erected in Belmar. Can someone get that Kickstarter going? Ferro is the only human with the guts to stand up to the Snookster, and now his life is ruined. This is some sort of Greek tragedy I’d like to write.

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  • http://twitter.com/danielleward Danidisaster

    Dude you’re a dick.

    It’s amazing how people think they’re the intelligent ones. Just because you have the ability to point out flawed actions of other people doesn’t make you awesome. Considering you think this is all crap, it makes me wonder why you bother being here.

    Being the one who points out flaws of the village idiot makes you even more pathetic than the retard you give attention too.

    • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.paladino Andrew Paladino

      This was in my facebook news feed. I read it and enjoyed it until the last paragraph. Not sure what “attention” that you referred to that I’m apparently giving to the author.

    • http://twitter.com/danielleward Danidisaster

      These comments = attention.

    • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.paladino Andrew Paladino

      Ok so criticizing the article in the comment section draws outside attention to it? I see how that makes sense.

  • http://twitter.com/danielleward Danidisaster

    Wait. Your boyfriend beat you?

    • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.paladino Andrew Paladino

      I have girl friends who have been abused by guys and there is no room for belittling what a horrifying and scarring experience that could be for a girl.

    • http://twitter.com/danielleward Danidisaster

      But this isn’t spousal abuse, nor is this post abusing women’s rights. It was a bar fight, that happened on a reality TV show known for loose morals and outrageous behavior. Not to mention I’m pretty positive the last paragraph of this post is satire. I think your protest and attitude toward this piece is a little extreme, dude.

    • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.paladino Andrew Paladino

      I understand what comedy is and in most cases I’m all for politically-incorrect humor. However, the last paragraph isn’t funny at all. Is he the first person to hate Snooki and her fellow Jersey Shore castmates? What is funny about that at all? A 10 year old can call Snooki a dumb whore. It’s fucking EASY, which is what makes this attempt to be an edgy “maybe Snooki deserved to be punched” kind of satirist fall on the too-offensive side of the thin line between “too-offensive” and “offensive to an extent, but clever enough to make up for it and to clearly show that the intent was NOT to offend.” And it’s okay to hit a woman as long as they’re not married? Interesting.

    • Carl G.

      I don’t wanna be that guy, but seriously, there’s a huge difference between spousal abuse and getting into a drunken barfight with Snooki. Huge fucking difference.

    • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.paladino Andrew Paladino

      A suckerpunch is not a fight.

    • http://twitter.com/chrisDAPS Chris Olivieri

      There are a few important things that need to be addressed here. It goes without saying that this dude is an ASSHOLE. Throwing punches in a bar because you’re drunk and annoyed is not a “nice guy” thing to do.

      Also, you’re missing the point the would be statue in belmar wouldn’t be for punching “the snookster” because a dude threw a punch at a woman in a bar, it would be (figuratively) erected because someone stood up against the brainless reality nonsense that is jersey shore.

      Dude’s life is ruined already, his family’s life is ruined. These are totally just repercussions for his shithead action. I believe that carlo is suggesting we applaud a non-existant stand against the whole “Jersey Shore” culture because it is so negative.

      If you’d like to see our stance when it comes to men beating women do a search for “Chris Brown” on our homepage.

    • The Loberman

      I want the narrowest post in this comment thread, because I’m the coolest person in this comment thread.

    • Anonymous

      I’m Batman and screw Jersey Show. I would rather watch re-runs of Batman with Dick Ward.

  • anonymous

    Sorry Carlo, but you’re full of it … They’re almost no women that should ever be touched, but any woman that starts baiting a guy like she did deserves a smack in the face … You start the fight, you take the consequences!! She doesn’t get a free pass because she’s female, she gets a free pass of she’s female *and* innocent … She wants to be a man, then she better learn to take a punch … Otherwise, like a guy who doesn’t want a fight, she better learn to shut up …

    And we all know by know, she’s never learn to shut-up!! (It’s always the small yappy dogs that cause the fights) Personally, I’ll buy this a beer the next time I see him …

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.paladino Andrew Paladino

    Also, proofreading before posting is always a good idea. “Dan Ferro punch his way into a lifetime of military service.”?

    • http://twitter.com/augiemania Carlo Montagnino

      Fix’d, thx.

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.paladino Andrew Paladino

    Also, proofreading before posting is always a good idea. “Dan Ferro punch his way into a lifetime of military service.”?

  • http://twitter.com/danielleward Danidisaster

    CARLO THIS ARTICLE ISN’T JOURNALISM!!! h8 your blogging. & I HATE YOU FOREVER. POORLY EXECUTED. 2/4 STARS!! SNOOKI FOREVER!!

    • http://twitter.com/augiemania Carlo Montagnino

      I’m a trained journalist.

  • Anonymous

    I think everyone from Jersey Shore should be punched in the face for being on a stupid T.V. show. Fuckin Retards. Your making the Jersey Shore look like a wasteland. If anyone disagrees with me I will visit them at night and give them an asskicking like never b4. I will even bring Robin and Batgirl with me.

    P.S. Snooki is going to be on WWE next week. You think she is not going to get clocked. Come Man….

    • http://www.facebook.com/andrew.paladino Andrew Paladino

      Am I not allowed to be opposed to the lifestyle that Jersey Shore portrays without being violent about it? People need to chill the fuck out and take a look at their own morals for a second.

  • Carl G.

    That last paragraph is offensive. You think you are a lot cooler than you are. This is a very poorly written, irresponsible article.

  • 19d

    so as a United States cavalry Scout i have the utmost respect for this man,yes they do know who is he in kentucky being that i do still have some battles there, they gave him a good ol hazing and would be proud to add another man to our family regardless of his past

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